A Collection of Funny Relationship Quotes

A Collection of Funny Relationship Quotes Funny situations occur when you have complicated relationships. Look around you, and youll see that chaotic relationship  sometimes lead to amusing situations. Movies are made about relationships gone bad or just beginning. When you go to a party, you can observe couples and tell which couple had a fight before coming to the party and which one will have a fight after the party.When relationships go sour, it helps to look at the funny side. Instead of being anxious about your love life, make a joke about it and move on. If you have been through heartbreak, laugh at your mistake. The quicker you bounce back, the easier you are able to move on  and develop new relationships. Here are funny relationship quotes that will put a smile on your face the next time you are feeling down over your relationship. Linda FestaThe most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them be good at taking orders.Erma BombeckMarriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.Frederick RyderWhen a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.Sarah DessenRelationships dont always make sense. Especially from the outside.Jonathan CarrollYou have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lovers arms can only come later when youre sure they wont laugh if you trip.Samuel GoldwynA bachelors life is no life for a single man.Mark Twain What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.Bobby KeltonThe difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.Agatha ChristieAn archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her .Glenn BeckRemember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.Benjamin FranklinKeep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward.Laurence J. PeterIts better to have loved and lost than to do 40 pounds of laundry a week.Henry YoungmanSome people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take the time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays; I go Fridays.Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.Ronnie ShakesRelationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.Rita RudnerWhen I want to end a relationship I just say, You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children. Sometimes they leave skid marks.Brendan FrancisA man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.Jim BishopWatching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.Albert EinsteinWomen marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.Jacqueline BissetIdeally, couples need three lives: one for him, one for her and one for them together.

VEGA Surname Origin and Last Name Meaning

VEGA Surname Origin and Last Name Meaning The Spanish surname Vega is a topographical name that means dweller in the meadow or one who lives on a plain, from the Spanish word  vega, used to refer to a meadow, valley or fertile plain. It could also be a habitational name for someone from one of any of the many places in the world named Vega or La Vega. Vega is the 49th most common Spanish surname. Alternate Surname Spellings: VEGAS, VEGAZ, DE LA VEGA,   Surname Origin: Spanish Where Do People With the VEGA Surname Live? The surname distribution map at Forebears, which includes data from 227 countries, pinpoints Vega as the 519th most common surname in the world. It identifies Vega as most common in Panama where it ranks 25th in the nation, followed by Puerto Rico (27th), Costa Rica (32nd), Peru (47th), Chile (47th), Argentina (50th), Mexico (55th), Spain (62nd), Cuba (74th), Equador (81st), Colombia (87th), Paraguay (96th) and Nicaragua (99th). WorldNames PublicProfiler identifies the Vega name in Spain as most frequently found in the northern regions of Asturias, Castille Y Leon, and Cantabria, as well as the southern regions of Andalucia and the Canary Islands. Within the United States, the Vega name is most common in the southwest, in the states bordering Mexico, along with Nevada, Idaho, and Florida, plus Illinois, New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. Famous People with the VEGA Surname Paz Vega - Spanish actressAmelia Vega - 2003 Miss UniverseJurij Vega - Slovene mathematician and physicist- Spanish playwrightGarcilaso de la Vega - Spanish poet Genealogy Resources for the Surname VEGA 50 Most Common Spanish SurnamesHave you ever wondered about your Spanish last name and how it came to be? This article describes common Spanish naming patterns and explores the meaning and origins of 50 common Spanish surnames. Vega Family Crest - Its Not What You ThinkContrary to what you may hear, there is no such thing as a Vega family crest or coat of arms for the Vega surname.  Coats of arms are granted to individuals, not families, and may rightfully be used only by the uninterrupted male-line descendants of the person to whom the coat of arms was originally granted.   The Vega DNA Surname ProjectThis Y-DNA surname project is open to all  families with this surname, of all spelling variations, and from all locations, with the goal of using DNA matches to  help find the paper trail that leads further back up the Vega family tree. VEGA Family Genealogy ForumThis free message board is focused on descendants of Vega ancestors around the world. Search past queries, or post a question of your own. FamilySearch - VEGA GenealogyAccess over 1.7 million free historical records and lineage-linked family trees posted for the Vega surname and its variations on this free genealogy website hosted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. VEGA Surname Mailing ListThis free mailing list for researchers of the Vega surname and its variations includes subscription details and searchable archives of past messages. Hosted by RootsWeb. DistantCousin.com - VEGA Genealogy Family HistoryExplore free databases and genealogy links for the last name Vega. The Vega Genealogy and Family Tree PageBrowse family trees and links to genealogical and historical records for individuals with the last name Vega from the website of Genealogy Today. - References: Surname Meanings Origins Cottle, Basil. Penguin Dictionary of Surnames. Baltimore, MD: Penguin Books, 1967. Dorward, David. Scottish Surnames. Collins Celtic (Pocket edition), 1998. Fucilla, Joseph. Our Italian Surnames. Genealogical Publishing Company, 2003. Hanks, Patrick, and Flavia Hodges. A Dictionary of Surnames. Oxford University Press, 1989. Hanks, Patrick. Dictionary of American Family Names. Oxford University Press, 2003. Reaney, P.H. A Dictionary of English Surnames. Oxford University Press, 1997. Smith, Elsdon C. American Surnames. Genealogical Publishing Company, 1997. Back to Glossary of Surname Meanings Origins

Examples of Administrative Behavior that Raise Questions about Assignment

Examples of Administrative Behavior that Raise Questions about Organizational Ethics - Assignment Example ‘A story on the outside business,’ is a video demonstrating how some employees use government time and property to pursue their own businesses. This is not allowed by the law, and it is also ethically wrong. There are two things in this issue. Going against the law and going against the code of ethics. Going against the law is wrong, and it is also not morally correct to use government property and time to pursue personal businesses. The woman in the video is shown using government phone, computer, and time to make calls to an outside individual about a property that was on sale. She expects to get a commission from the business deal. There are ethical codes that guide public service behavior. Such areas provided by specific organizations in which an employee works, the government, and the American Society for Public Administration (ASPA). In this case, reference will be made to guidance as provided by ASPA and the government. ASPA indicates that it has the responsibility to develop a responsible professionalism spirit among public service workers and sectors. It also affirms that it has the responsibility to increase awareness and commitment to ethical standards and principles among public service workers. The society, therefore, provides codes of ethics to guide behavior in the public service. ASPA code of ethics number 1 requires advancement of public interest. An employee is expected to put public service above service to oneself. This code was violated by the employee who took her office time to make outside deals (ASPA, 2013). Â  Other codes that were violated by the employee according to ASPA are; ethical code number 6 which requires demonstration of personal integrity, and code number 8 which requires promotion of professional excellence. According to number six, the employee is expected to adhere to certain standards of conduct that will inspire public trust and confidence in the organization. Sh e did not do that. Number eight required her to act ethically and competently; she also failed to do that (ASPA, 2013).

Contraceptive Article Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

Contraceptive - Article Example Condoms were the contraceptive method preferred by adolescents in Benin. However, the study also reported low uptake of contraception methods among most adolescents (Osaikhuwuomwan & Abieyuwa, 2013). Emergency contraceptives are the other commonly used contraceptive measures. According to Hickey & White (2014), most college students are aware of the emergency contraception and its availability over the counter. However, the researchers also cited that there is low confidentiality in the use of emergency contraception as a method to prevent unplanned pregnancies among the students (p. 30). The level of awareness of emergency contraception and access to the pills over the counter was high among adolescents in San Francisco Bay (Yen et al., 2014). In both studies recognize that the teenagers and youths choose to use emergency contraceptives because they are aware of the pregnancy risk and desire to prevent any form of unintended pregnancy. However, Yen et al., (2014) argue that adolescents lack enough knowledge on emergency contraceptive pills and recommend more education on the ECP among these young people to alleviate the misconception. Contrary to these three studies, other scholars attempted to investigate the relationship between contraceptive use, childbearing and future success in life. Richards & Sheeder (2014) conducted the study and found that most women felt that childbearing would not affect their educational achievement (p. 303). The perception poses a challenge to conventional pregnancy prevention counselling approaches that use contraceptive use as a motivator for women to avoid pregnancy. Most conventional counselling methods urge women to use contraceptives as the primary means to prevent pregnancy. The idea is to motivate women not to bear children at early stages in their lives to secure a bright future. However, as Richards & Sheeder (2014) found out, not all

Critique of the Movie Educating Rita Essay -- Movies Film Educating Ri

Critique of the Movie Educating Rita Director: Lewis Gilbert Screenwriter: Willy Russell Released: 1983 With Julie Walters, Michael Caine, and others Rita (Julie Walters) is a twenty-six years old hairdresser from Liverpool who has decided to get an education. Not the sort of education that would get her just a better job or more pay, but an education that would open up for her a whole new world--a liberal education. Rita wants to be a different person, and live an altogether different sort of life than she has lived so far. She enrolls in the Open University, a government program that allows non-traditional students to get the kind of higher education that used to be reserved more or less for the offspring of the upper classes, and mainly for male students at that. "Educating Rita" describes the trials and transformations that the young hairdresser has to go through to develop from a person with hardly any formal schooling at all into a student who passes her university exams with ease and distinction. In the course of telling this story, the film also suggests what the essence of a liberal education may be. The story is presented in the form of a comedy, a comedy that revolves around the personal and pedagogical relationship between Rita and her main teacher, Dr. Frank Bryant (Michael Caine). Frank Bryant teaches comparative literature, and it is his job to prepare Rita for her exams. Unfortunately, Frank Bryant has lost all enthusiasm for his academic field and its related teaching duties. He loathes most of his regular students, and the main function of the rows of classical works that still fill the bookshelves in his office is to hide the whiskey bottles without which he is not able to get through the day and the semesters anymore. When he teaches his regular classes he is frequently drunk, and in response to a student's complaint that students are not learning much about literature in Bryant's class, the burned-out teacher gruffly advises: "Look, the sun is shining, and you're young. What are you doing in here? Why don't you all go out and do something? Why don't you go and make lo ve--or something?" Frank Bryant is a disenchanted intellectual who has no real use anymore for literature, culture, or the life of the mind. Introducing working people in particular to the world of higher education seems utterly pointless to him. When he find... ... having overcome the limitations of her old world through education, and by recognizing the limitations of what she has acquired at the University, she finds herself in the same situation as Frank: in some sort of existential Australia where "everything is only just starting." She has choices to make, and it is her having grown beyond old forms of life that gives her the freedom to make these choices. This in the end is the essence of her education, and the essence of any liberal education as such: the knowledge-based ability to step back from all form of life, the capability to deliberate freely, and then to embark on a course of action that does not grow out of established patterns and unexamined impulses, but out of critical reflection and informed decisions. What Rita thanks Frank for at the end, and what has made him a "good teacher" during all her trials, is that he has helped her to get into this position: "You have given me a choice." Education, in other words, is liberat ion. It is the emancipation of a person from a state of being a mere extension of a given environment to an active agent who can choose who she or he will be: a potential creator of his or her own world.

Manipulating Meaning Worksheet Essay

Part A: Twain’s Family Tree Use all the skills you have learned throughout this course to complete a close reading of the description you’ve chosen. Use context clues to make sense of things that are not clear at first. Pay attention to Twain’s tone and the humor devices he uses. 1. Which of Twain’s ancestors did you select? Charles Henry Twain 2. What is the ACTUAL story of that man’s life? Provide supporting evidence from the text. â€Å"lived during the latter part of the seventeenth century he converted sixteen thousand South Sea islanders, and taught them that a dog-tooth necklace and a pair of spectacles was not enough clothing to come to divine service in† He was very well liked by his flock of people. 3. What techniques does Twain use to create satire in the description you selected? Provide supporting evidence from the text. I think he used wit and humor, when naming it â€Å"twains demented family tree† Part B: Create Your Own Satire For this part of the assignment, you will appropriate Twain’s technique and write a burlesque of an event in your life or in the life of a celebrity. Remember, a burlesque plays on contradiction between a subject and the way it is treated. Twain used humor to describe serious, sometimes awful, events, but you can turn it around and present something fun or happy in a very serious way – the choice is yours. Requirements: Incorporate at least two humor devices Write a minimum of five sentences Paste your completed burlesque here: One time I was riding a very high powered four wheeler, Yamaha raptor 700rr. This bike topped out at about 95mph (no exaggeration) and I was going about  60-70mph down a dirt/rock road. When I needed to slow down I tapped the front brakes a little to hard and the bike stood up on its front two wheels, now in my head, rather than getting eaten by a 400lbs bike I decided to jump off to my right. I tumbled and tumbled lost my shoes and oddly enough ripped my shirt off (couldn’t even find it). Had road rash from head to toe and everywhere in between. Though I was very fortunate not to break anything I was not in the best condition. When I got home (after pushing the bike home) I tell my father what happened and he says â€Å"well that was smart, dumba$$!† to which I replied â€Å"it was definitely one of my smarter moves!† He then helped me get cleaned up, picked the rocks and gravel out of my wounds then spent the next 3 weeks in my bed. ;/ After you have written your burlesque, answer these reflection questions in complete sentences: 1. Factually describe the event you wrote about in your burlesque. I was to in experienced on a high experience bike. I’m far more experienced now (pro) I’m lying about the pro part, but definitely know how to ride 2. What humor devices did you incorporate? Why did you choose them? I used sarcasm; I used sarcasm because I am fluent in that particular literary device. I also used sarcasm because it’s a true story and that’s how it went, exactly. So I felt it was only appropriate.

The Dynamicity of Lady MAcbeth - 509 Words

The strive and ambition for power can seem to be utter perfection, but one should be careful what they wish for because that power and ambition may cause their eventual downfall. An example of this would be shown in Lady Macbeth’s character in William Shakespeare’s â€Å"Macbeth†. Lady Macbeth’s strive for power leads her into a dark tunnel of guilt and a battle with herself subconsciously and consciously. For one thing when Lady Macbeth hears of her husband’s newly gained title of Thane of Cawdor, and the witches’ prophecy, her immediate thoughts are of murdering the King. The witches said that it was fate that would bring Macbeth the throne, so the fact that Lady Macbeth displays early signs of dark ambitions so quickly is quite startling and conveys her lust for power. At one point Lady Macbeth states: â€Å"Glamis thou art, and Cawdor, and shalt be/ What thou art promised. Yet I do fear thy nature. / It is too full o’ the milk of human kindness/ To catch the nearest way. Thou wouldst be great;/ Art not without ambition, but without/ The illness should attend it†, by this, Lady Macbeth expresses her belief that her husband is not of evil nature, and therefore will not to murder the king (I, v, 25-30). More ruthless than her husband, Lady Macbeth exploits her ambitions to help her get what she wants, for example, manipulating Macbeth to kill their ruler. Lady Macbeth, unlike her husband, holds no loyalties to King Duncan, causing her to feel detached and the decision to kill